So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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