I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I need water and some morals
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
