Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
