Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
