Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
