Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Randomize
