i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
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When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
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After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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