Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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