he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
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i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
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He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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