All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
