Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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