I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
