Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
