Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
