Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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