Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Randomize
