I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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