I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
