her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
