Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
