You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
