I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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