Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
