i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Shame is for Republicans.
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