You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Someone signed my nipple.
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