Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
