i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
