Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
