You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I wish life had little blips of pornography
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
This is classic penis vs brain.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself