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• (573): View more from Missouri

  I wish you could order shots online.

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• (760): View more from California

  I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass

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• (352): View more from Florida

  Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.

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• (516): View more from New York

  I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless

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• (917): View more from New York City

  You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.

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• (305): View more from Florida

  I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.

  (954): View more from Florida

  It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (707): View more from California

  Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.

  (425): View more from Washington

  I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr

  (480): View more from Arizona

  truly a win in your book

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude

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• (207): View more from Maine

  Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!

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