Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
splinters make it hard to masturbate
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle