I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.