The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3