Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
