He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize