So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
