exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
