6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
