just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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