Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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