I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
