Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
