But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
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She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
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So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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