Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
