I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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