You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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