My nipple is on Facebook.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
