The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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