I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
