Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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