batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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