I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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