Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
