Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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