i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
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OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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