brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize