It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize