If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
