This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
