i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
