Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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