I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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