We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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