Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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