so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
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I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
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She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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