I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
