"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
