you would pick up someone in the library
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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