I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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